5 years since my mothers struggle with cancer ended

August 31st and the days surrounding that day is always a time of remembrance for my mothers passing. I can't believe it's been 5 years since she passed away. Sometimes the time has quelled the pain of her passing while other times without warning it is as fresh and real as yesterday. I generally choose to stay busy so my mind doesn't have time to think about the past. Thankfully the dal soccer season has kept me busy and occupied on my day to day routine. Unfortunately this is not the best method and I've felt mentally drained trying to keep my mind occupied constantly. I do not recommend avoidance as a healing pattern, it simply stays with you until you're ready to face facts and then you realize you wasted your precious days up until that point in a haze. Usually I am great at celebrating and appreciating the 18 years I had with my mother but for some reason this year felt oddly uncomfortable. Probably due to the fact this is the first time I've been physically living in Halifax with all the memories surrounding me since her death. I took off two days of running. With the mental strain I don't think I wanted to add on an emotional one as well. Regardless I am feeling fresh again and happy to move forward with my running and living! My intervals today felt great to be moving again and I am happy to feel like I would be doing something my mother would be proud of.